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I'm thirsty.
15 years ago
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Confessions of a first time mommy-to-be
I'm scared. I'm sure that's no big revelation. I'm a little nervous about giving birth, but that's still so far in the future that I don't think about it that much. Yet. What I'm more scared about right now is that I'm going to do something wrong and kill my little baby. I think my biggest problem is that the baby's still so small that I can't feel it or see evidence that I'm pregnant. I'm doing all the things that the doctor told me to do. I cut out all caffeine (no small feat in itself, for me), I'm not eating the things she told me not to eat, I'm not taking hot baths or sitting in the sun for long periods of time, etc. I don't know why I'm so worried. I guess it's just because I'm not sick or anything, so for me, there hasn't been a large amount of change in my daily routine since I got pregnant. How do I know that I'm not totally crazy and this pregnancy is all in my head? Of course, I got several positive pregnancy tests, and I went to the doctor and they confirmed it. Plus, if I wasn't pregnant, I would have had a period, which I haven't. I guess I shouldn't think about all this stuff, but I just worry. I just wish that the baby would be big enough that I could feel it, or at least see that I'm pregnant when I look at my tummy. Right now, all I see when I look down is my fat and flab that was already there. Anybody can have that.
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Everything you are feeling is normal. For the first few weeks your hormones will get the best of you and all kinds of things will go through your mind till you start looking and feeling pregnant. It is OK!!!! I can not stress that enough. Remember that God made us to do this. Before you know it, you will be going, "Wow, I look pregnant." Believe me, I feel that way right now. It is such a joyous time and a great bonding time for you and Jake.
ReplyDeleteWe are so excited for you and are praying daily that you will have a healthy and happy pregnancy. If you ever need to talk, give me a call. Don't worry!
Love you bunches!
I just had another fertility test yesterday (good news by the way - we ARE able to have children) - but during the test they put pressure on your cervix - and, um, ouch. All I could think of the rest of the day was "Imagine that pressure times 1,000 when you are giving birth" and I was pretty much paranoid about it the rest of the day - and I'm not even pregnant yet!
ReplyDeleteSo, all of that being said, I am guessing all of what you feel is something that many soon-to-be mommies feel. Before you know it, Baby Romancky will be kicking you in the ribs just to remind you that he or she is there. Hang in there!
I hope to feel just as worried as you very soon. : )
Love you Rebecca!